Not Your Typical Pregnancy Announcement

I’ve tried to write this post many times. It’s been tough because, although I’ve done this twice before, I still fear the judgment and stereotyping that often follows. It’s unfortunate that something that brings me so much personal joy remains for many women a point of conflict in their careers.

I’m pregnant and expecting the last member of my crew later this year! We are thrilled to be growing our family, but I have long worried how this would impact my growing company. During these strange pandemic times, I’ve been able to keep the focus on myself, my company, and the aspirations that I have to make space a more inclusive and engaging industry. I’ve been given the privilege of largely virtual meetings where my personal life choices could be concealed for as long as possible.

And here is why I still have to fight off anxiety and panic as I hit the post button.

In 2017, I decided to start my family but the universe had the ultimate surprise for me that I would be expecting twins. I had severe nausea and other complications during that pregnancy which meant I needed to inform my employer very early on, given that certain accommodations would be required for my health. I thought I was doing the right thing by being upfront…and in return, I was laid off 45 minutes after sharing the news with my two supervisors that had just weeks prior lauded my performance and claimed I was “probably the sharpest member of the team.”

Although I will never say that this negative outcome and discrimination made me a stronger person for a tough experience–because no one should ever have to go through this–it did, in its own way, propel me into taking a leap into the space industry. This career pivot would completely change my life and my worldview.

I was lucky to find a graduate program that provided accessible and virtual learning environments (even before the pandemic) that would allow me to pursue a master’s degree with 9-month old twins.

Fast forward to 2019. At this point, I’m no stranger to the space community, but still a newer member and I’m finding myself traveling to as many space conferences as possible while also being very pregnant with my third baby. And although no one is threatening my livelihood, I feel alone in crowded spaces. Feeling the eyes of people wondering what I’m doing there…I am almost always the only pregnant woman in an already male-dominated industry. Is it my imagination or are people even avoiding talking to me? As though speaking to the pregnant woman is somehow catching…as though family life has no place for consideration when talking about launching rockets and creating a cislunar economy.

And now today, after holding onto this secret for much longer than normal times would have allowed, I am still scared…I hate to admit that–but I am terrified. I have so many goals, so much I’m working toward…yet I wonder, will people be able to see past this personal decision and still believe in me and what I aim to accomplish? Will it be harder for my company to raise funding because I made a choice that all women should be able to make for themselves?

But despite all these doubts, I don’t want to be afraid any longer of whether people will think I’m taking on too much, not being a good enough mom, not being a good enough founder. My whole life people have told me to pick and choose when I do things to work around societal norms and expectations of how I should pursue a career. But I’ve never been a fan of the status quo.

I want women to feel empowered to do both…to have a family and pursue their dreams. Even those of us who are pro-choice and believe women should be in control of their bodies remain complicit still in this culture of telling women when it’s the right time. Let’s instead give women the confidence to know themselves, what they can handle, and what they want their story to look like.

Don’t let anyone define what motherhood and a career looks like for you, or if having children is even your path. People keep expecting me to stop, to walk away, to give up on my work–that I won’t be able to manage, that I’ll be too exhausted. For those who doubt mothers, you’ll be disappointed to learn that there is no one tougher and more resilient. I’m here, I’m still doing the thing, and I’m not going anywhere.

If Elon Musk can have seven children and no one questions his ability to run a company, then why is a woman with four children any different? No one ever asks him how many kids he has or whether he can manage it…because no one expects him to share equally in managing it in the first place.

To my celestial community, I thank you for your continued support and encouragement–I know this will be a safe space to share these thoughts. I’m so privileged to have such an amazing group of followers that encourage me, but this kind of judgment does exist out there and we should talk about it so we can bring a stop to it.

This photo is meant to demonstrate strength, not weakness. Because as I work toward making my slice of the universe a better place, I have also brought new life to the Cosmos and will continue to do my best to raise good humans that will hopefully carry the same values into their future legacies. I am a mother, but I’m more than that too. I am a founder. A CEO. And much, much more. Above all, I am a human…I am a Celestial Citizen.

As always, share your voice and comment on Medium or Twitter @CelestialCitzn!

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